WHY DANNA!
by Lava Puppy
Summary: SasorixOC summary inside!
1. Chapter 1

WHY DANNA?!?

Disclaimer: My OC is Kumo (Spider).

Summary: Deidara isn't the only one who calls Sasori 'Danna'. Kumo isn't always doing things wrong, just when her Danna's in the room. She only intentionally bugs him when she sits in 'his' chair. Don't get me wrong- she likes her Danna. She likes her Danna **a lot**. He never hits her, or anything. But she gets the receiving end of his verbal barbs instead. One day, after a new one, she snaps.

START

"Kumo-kun, Danna is going to be angry when he finds you in his chair…un." Deidara reminded her. Kumo, the blue haired red eyed kunoichi sitting in said chair, looked up and smiled.

"Danna can remind my again why I shouldn't be in his chair then." She whispered. Deidara smiled back, knowingly. She returned to her book. It only took a few moments when her Danna came out with his puppet.

"Out of my chair, nuisance." He tried. Smirking, Kumo waited for his customary 'Push-Kumo-Out-Of-Chair-And-Hop-Over-The-Back-Of-It' technique. However it never came. She looked up, a small frown. Deidara stared from his spot on the couch, pausing his movie.

"Did you not hear me? I said get out of my chair. Or are you an idiot, you stupid girl?" Sasori sneered. Deidara gasped, and Kumo paled. She stood shakily, but only made it a couple steps before she collapsed, sobbing.

"What is with you, nuisance?" Sasori asked. She sobbed harder. Deidara knelt down next to her.

"Shush Kumo-kun; Danna didn't know…Danna didn't know…he didn't mean it…yeah." He tried to sooth. Kumo jumped to her feet.

"NO! SASORI NEVER KNOWS, DOES HE? AND YET HE SAYS THINGS ANYWAY! HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER!" She yelled. But then she gasped, and covered her mouth with her hands.

"No…Danna didn't know…Danna doesn't care…Danna is right…Father was right…I am no more than a…stupid…girl…" She ran out of the room. Sasori looked at Deidara, who still knelt on the floor.

"Deidara. What did she mean, 'He never knows' and 'Danna and father were right, I'm just a stupid girl'?" He stared at the blonde on the floor. Deidara sighed. Time for truths. "Kumo-kun's father blamed her for her mother's death when she died giving birth to her. Not only did her father beat her, he threw verbal barbs at her. They hurt her more than they hurt me, Sasori-Danna, more than once I've had to lend her a shoulder to cry on. But when you called her Stupid Girl that just cracked her barrier. Her father loved to call her that. She loves you, Danna. She loves you and hasn't stopped since the day she laid eyes on you…yeah." He concluded. As soon as he finished that sentence, Sasori was out of the room.

STOP

What do you think? Drop a comment and tell me!


	2. Chapter 2

WHY DANNA?!?

Disclaimer: My OC is Kumo (Spider).

Summary: Deidara isn't the only one who calls Sasori 'Danna'. Kumo isn't always doing things wrong, just when her Danna's in the room. She only intentionally bugs him when she sits in 'his' chair. Don't get me wrong- she likes her Danna. She likes her Danna **a lot**. He never hits her, or anything. But she gets the receiving end of his verbal barbs instead. One day, after a new one, she snaps.

START

Sasori stopped in front of Kumo's door. Knocking on it, he called

"Kumo? Kumo, open the door. I have to talk to you. Please open it, Kumo." Sasori tried. Then he tried the doorknob. Locked. He rested his ear to the door. No sound. Fearing the worst, he used a puppet to break the door down. Stale air from the morning hit him. He looked around at the empty room. An un-made bed, dirty clothes in a corner, books around the bed. One thing he noticed right away was a corner sticking out from the mattress. Pulling on it, he realized it was a thin book. He opened it carefully, and read the pages.

October 12, 1960 _(That's around the time Kumo joined up…Sasori thought)_ (A/N Random dates here people, random dates!)

Dear Diary,

Maybe this is foolish, to be keeping a diary. But I've realized that Deidara-kun is the only one who I can actually talk to without getting snapped at. And I can't turn to him every time I need to vent feelings, so here we are. Besides, I want to keep a record of my days as an S-class criminal. Deidara's at the door, telling me to come watch a movie. Better go.

Kumo Dokueki.

October 14, 1960

Dear Diary,

I met more people today. Itachi-san doesn't talk much, but his eyes are so cool! Kisame is a fish, but a jerk all the same. Zetsu's black side threatened to eat me, but apparently that's normal 0.0. Kakuzo loves money (I wonder if he'll marry a ten dollar bill one day?) Hidan worships a god named 'Jashin-Sama' and then there's Sasori. He works with puppets. Maybe it's too soon, but I think I may have a crush on this person! I have to go again; Leader-Sama is calling for a meeting.

Kumo Dokueki

October 14, 1960

Dear Diary,

It's still the same day as last entry. Leader-Sama sent me, Deidara and Sasori on a mission to Konoha to gather information on the nine tails, Kyuubi. I wonder if I can keep on track with Sasori-Danna around? giggle

Kumo Dokueki.

_(Sasori remembered having to save her from getting caught more than once on that mission)_

October 20, 1960

Dear Diary,

Deidara knows!!!! He knows about my crush for Sasori-Danna!!! Kami, I hope he doesn't tell…Anyway, I've written down what we know about Kyuubi:

Container: Blonde Hair,

Blue Eyes,

Orange jump suit,

Alone,

Determined to become Hokage.

We're home now, and Deidara's invited me to play a game of Go in his room.

Kumo Dokueki

Sasori flipped ahead to the most recent.

June 30th, 1961

Dear Diary,

Danna complimented my fighting today during training, when I had managed to disarm Kisame. Actually, it was more of a hidden compliment, because he said it like this:

"Congrats. You've finally decided that Kisame needs to use your best attacks, nuisance." Like that. But there's still a compliment in there.

P.S Danna flipped me off his chair again. He does this neat thing that when he flips me off; he jumps over the back and sits there before I even realize what happened!

Kumo Dokueki

Sasori stared at the book before he put it back. Stepping over the broken door, Itachi and Kisame came around the corner.

"Whoa, dude. You better fix that before Kumo gets back." Kisame chuckled.

"Where is she?" I asked coldly.

"Leader sent her on a mission to get groceries." Itachi whispered. "She was crying when I saw her last. What did you do?" Itachi was one of Kumo's other favorite people, but she was careful not to displease him.

"Nothing. Thanks." Sasori took off in the direction of Leader's door.

Pausing outside it, he craned his neck around looking for a sign of Kumo.

"Sasori. I know you're out there. Come in." Leader called from inside his room. Entering, Sasori looked around with his eyes trying to spot a certain blue haired Kunoichi.

"You are looking for something, Sasori. Or is it some_one_?" Leader asked.

"You sent Kumo out on a mission just now. Do you know when she gets back?" He asked.

"Around midnight. Until then you should think about what you are going to say to her, ne?"

"Hai. Arigatou Leader-Sama."

Sasori made his way out of the room.

When he reached his and Deidara's room, Deidara was laying on his bed looking at a picture.

"Danna! Look what I found! Yeah! " Deidara grinned, showing him a picture. Sasori took it. It was dated for a year ago, about a month after Kumo arrived. Deidara had wrangled up all the members, even Leader, for a picture. Sitting on the couch and sitting on the floor from left to right was:

Itachi Kisame Kakuzo Hidan Zetsu Sasori

Aka Deidara Kumo

Aka was the other female member. However, she was never usually seen. Sasori remembered Deidara arranging Kumo so she leaned up against his leg. Leader stood behind the group. Sasori stared at His face. It was monotone, and 'I have no better things to do but this' practically spelled on it. Kumo's was beaming, happy at the camera. Sasori handed it back to his partner.

"…" He didn't say anything as he checked the clock. '_10:30- another hour and a half, then.' _He thought, and turned back to his partner, who was now heading into bed. Sasori sat on his and made a pretense of sleeping.

"I'm going to get some water…un." Deidara announced quietly, some while later, and he was out the door. He came back half an hour later. He poked Sasori.

"Kumo's back…yeah." Sasori was out of bed and interrogating his partner in a flash.

"Where is she?" He whispered.

"Itachi's putting her into her bed…un." He whispered back.

Sasori rushed into her room, which was across the hall and down a couple doors. He looked in, and a shadowy figure was bending over a sleeping Kumo. The figure looked at him. Red eyes were illuminated.

"Sasori." Itachi said in a brief greeting.

"She overexerted herself today. Fell asleep halfway through putting the groceries away. Deidara and I put them away." Itachi whispered.

Sasori walked over as Itachi straitened. Kumo shivered, Sasori pulled the covers over her shoulder.

"Goodnight." Itachi said, and soundlessly exited the room. Sasori cast a look at Kumo. Turning off her alarm clock, he wrote a note:

_Kumo,_

_You were up for quite a while last night. I turned your alarm off. I have to talk to you after you get up._

_-Sasori_

Then he too exited.

Finished!!!


	3. Chapter 3

WHY DANNA?!?

Disclaimer: My OC is Kumo (Spider).

Summary: Deidara isn't the only one who calls Sasori 'Danna'. Kumo isn't always doing things wrong, just when her Danna's in the room. She only intentionally bugs him when she sits in 'his' chair. Don't get me wrong- she likes her Danna. She likes her Danna **a lot**. He never hits her, or anything. But she gets the receiving end of his verbal barbs instead. One day, after a new one, she snaps.

Kumo woke up in the clothes she wore last night. She noticed the blare of the red letters on her alarm clock weren't there. She looked at it, and discovered it turned off and a small not on top of it. Scanning it over, she checked her watch '11:00' it read. Nearly choking on air, she jumped around trying to put her jeans on and comb her hair at the same time. She eventually got dressed and got her teeth done ext. by '11:10' she silently thanked Kami of her ninja skills. Grabbing her weapons, she headed out to the training grounds.

"AKASUNA NO SASORI!!!" she screeched, seeing him, Itachi, Deidara, and Kisame out in the training area.

"Yes n- Kumo?" He asked coolly.

"NEXT TIME I COME HOME AT AN UNGODLY HOUR, YOU LEAVE MY ALARM WELL ENOUGH ALONE!" she glared. Deidara started snickering.

"What the heck is your problem?" She rounded on him.

"y-Your c-c-cloak! Yeah!" he chuckled. She looked down. She had slipped her cloak on the wrong way. Silently, she slipped in off, revealing skinny jeans, and a white tee-shirt that exposed her stomach when she lifted her arms up, and slipped it on the right way.

"Now that you've decided to stop interrupting me, Dokueki, you'll be fighting me. Then Deidara fights the winner, and Sasori the loser. Itachi will fight the loser of Sasori's battle, and Sasori will fight the winner of Deidara's battle. Got it? Good." And he lunged at her. She dodged, and flipped over him, putting one of the katana's that was strapped to her thigh against her neck.

"I win." She whispered in kisame's ear, in a voice which made him shiver.

She put her katana back and proceeded to go into 'battle mode', which makes her seem to leave all emotion in the dust and fight.

"My turn! Yeah!" Deidara grinned and threw a bomb at her. She caught it and it exploded. She was blasted backwards, and Deidara gasped. Itachi smirked. As deidara neared, she jumped up and punched him in the stomach, hard enough for him to feel it.

"That wasn't nice, Kumo-kun! Un!" he whined. She stared at him blankly. She looked sasori in the eye as he readied himself. Drawing her katanas, she charged. He dodged and a puppet was unleashed. She used a justu and hid under ground, popping up, tapping him on the shoulder and pinned him, arms above his head. The others stopped to watch.

"Get off me, Dokueki." Sasori growled, staring her in the eye.

"Make me, puppet boy." She growled. He rolled over on top of her, and smirked.

She felt her hands slipped, and looked up at her hands. Using two fingers, Sasori had commanded the puppet to take her weapons. She glared at him.

"You're sharpening those!" she yelled at it, as it stuck them so far in the ground the hilt was sticking out only. Sasori leaned in, his nose touching hers.

"Your in a lovely position to get out with what dignity you have left, Kumo." He purred, and watched as his opponent's face lit up with shock.

"G-get off y-you! Y-y-your invading my personal s-space!" She stuttered, now veeery concerned for her Danna.

"D-Danna? Are you ok?" She asked.

"No, of course I am. I'm merely taking pleasure in your discomfort." He chuckled.

"Now do you give up?" He asked in a sugary sweet tone, brown eyes dancing in amusement.

"Why? Why did you write that note? Why are you willing to talk to me? Why do you sting me with words that have cut me over and over?!" She said, searching his eyes.

Sasori's breath caught in his throat.

"Will you not answer me?" She asked, a lone tear escaping her eye.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." He whispered, and her hands slipped from his and she hugged him. He rolled onto his back and hugged her back. She began sobbing. He held her tighter. Deidara smiled. She had a new shoulder to cry on, it seemed.

Epilogue next!!!!!


	4. Epilogue

WHY DANNA?!?

Epilogue

Start

"Kagami! Where are you?" Kumo called, searching around the chamber for her daughter.

A giggle came out from under the bed. Smiling, Kumo knelt down und looked under it.

There, her daughter was lying on the floor, giggling. 'Kagami' or Mirror was the spitting image of her father. Red hair, brown eyes and a liking to dolls, she was a daddy's girl.

Sasori walked in, a toddler in a blanket in his arms. The toddler was sleeping, and Deidara came in behind Sasori and Kagami ran to him.

"Oof! You're getting heavy Kagami. Yeah." Chuckled Deidara, picking her up.

"Hello Sasori. Deidara, don't get her too wired. She has to go down for her nap you know." Kumo grinned as both Deidara and Kagami grimaced.

"How was he?" She asked her husband.

"Very loud. And Itachi's going to have to get his shirt dry-cleaned, unless he likes big, orangish stains on it." Sasori chuckled at his wife's exasperated look.

"He threw the carrots again, didn't he?" She sighed.

"Hai. I don't think we can have Itachi baby-sit for a while." Sasori chuckled, putting the sleeping toddler in the crib in the corner of the room. His name, 'Kietsu' or Joy, had fluffy blue hair and green eyes. He obliviously didn't like the horrid carrots.  
"Higher uncle Deidara!" Laughed Kagami and Deidara threw her higher, almost hitting her head on the ceiling. On the way down, Sasori caught her.

"Hi daddy!" She laughed, hugging him.

"Hello Kagami. I have a surprise for you!" Sasori smirked evilly at poor Uncle Deidara.

"Really?! What is it?" she asked, bouncing in his arms.

"Uncle Deidara gets to put you down for your nap! And if you ask really nicely, I'm pretty sure Uncle Deidara will read you two stories!" he faked wild enthusiasm.

He put her down and she grabbed Deidara's hand, practically dragging the poor man into her room.

"Why are you so mean?" laughed Kumo.

"He had it coming." Sasori smiled at her.

"That's what you said last time, you big meanie." She said in mock anger.

"But I'm a hot meanie." He smirked, hugging her. Itachi chose that time to walk into the room. Sasori let her go.

"Hello Itachi-san! Look, about your shirt, I'm sorry; it was completely Sasori's fault for getting you to try to feed Kietsu carrots-"she started, but Itachi cut her off.

"It's completely fine. Sasuke was like that at that age too. Although your family seems to enjoy throwing baby food at me. Like Kagami threw peas at me, and her father peaches just earlier this morning." He smirked and Sasori lost all color, and seemed to want to look everywhere but his wife.

"What? Sasori you didn't!" She cried, rounding on him.

"I…He…But…" Sasori couldn't get his words out.

"Why did you throw Kietsu's peaches on him? That's one of the few foods I can get Kietsu to eat!" She cried. Sasori regained color and smirked at the now shocked Uchiha.

"And you! Trying to pit me against my husband! I never!" She accused. Kietsu began crying. Kumo took him out of the crib and handed him to the still shocked Uchiha.

"Here! You can baby-sit while Sasori and I take a break! Do you realize how hard it is to sleep with a teething toddler waking up at the ungodly hours of the morning?! Do you? Well now you will! He's having a sleep over in your room for the next night!" She raved, and pushed both boys out of the room. Sasori started laughing. She looked at him and started laughing too. Deidara walked into the room, and his hair was untidy, he was panting slightly, and his cloak was hanging off his shoulder.

"That kid has to take a chill pill. Jack and Jill turned out fine after they're tumble, didn't they…yeah?" He said between pants.

"You read her the Jack and Jill rhyme? It was on the high shelf for a reason!" Sasori said exasperated.

"She is sleeping, isn't she?" Kumo asked.

Deidara nodded, and slipped out of the room muttering something about 'going for a nap himself'. Sasori and Kumo looked at each other. Kumo walked over to a bookshelf and pulled out a photo album. The rest of the afternoon was dedicated to flipping through photos and reminiscing.

Summary of Chapter:

Yes, Sasori and Kumo got married. They have a five year old named Kagami, and a two year old named Kietsu. Deidara has been promoted to the term 'Uncle' and Itachi to Baby-Sitter. But hey, that's life.

END


End file.
